There were a lot of preparations made for the first day of school. I hadn't done much until our camping week at the end of August, which has become my traditional Back-to-School shopping time. When the guys are out fishing and the kids are busy hanging out with and Grandma at camp, it has been a good time for me to get off and check things off the list. We always camp at Ft. Stevens near Astoria with lots of family, so I have become accustomed to the shopping there. I usually hit the Nike and OshKosh Outlet stores in Seaside, Fred Meyer in Warrenton, Romancing the Home antique shop in Gearhart, and the Farmer's Market in Astoria. This year, Jess and I went to a doorbuster sale at the old Penney's in Astoria, and I picked up some Romeos at M&N Workwear for State Fair. When we got home from State Fair the following week, we finally had time to go out and finish at Woodburn outlets, Wal-Mart, and the mall, which was fun because we went as a family on Sunday. We got some clothes, shoes, and school supplies for all three, but Jess had the biggest list for middle school.
Jess and I spent a couple days organizing her room and clothes, putting in a desk, trophy shelf, hooks and dry erase calendar. The room looks great and Jess was really excited about it. It was the perfect thing for getting her (and I) off on the right foot for middle school--something we bonded over and did together, as well as the practical side of just being organized for busy times with getting ready in the morning, homework and sports schedules.
Hot weather for the first week of school kind of throws us when trying to pick out appropriate clothes. The new stuff is fall stuff, so they basically wear new shoes with old summer shorts and tees most of the week. Catie wore a summer dress, with a little cardigan sweater for the cool morning, and sandals, for the first day. Andrew wore his usual: basketball shorts, sports t-shirt, new black Nike socks and running shoes. Once in awhile, I ask him to 'dress up', which looks like jeans or khaki shorts and a non-sports tee with his black Adidas. Jess 'dressed up' in short shorts and a tank with her new Tom's. She checked to make sure the shorts were finger tip length; tank straps were two-finger width, and, thus, dress code appropriate. She later told me everyone breaks the rules and nobody says anything.
With clothes figured out, lunches packed, forms and fees filled out and ready to turn in, we all drove to school together for the first day. I forgot to do the traditional 'first day of school' photo at home before we left, so I snapped one in the car with my cell phone at the stoplight turning into the school campus, and then another outside the truck after we parked. In my hurry to get A & C in to their classrooms on time, I forgot and left my phone in the truck and wasn't able to snap a photo of them in their classrooms. We all walked Catie to her first grade classroom first. She wanted to go to Andrew's class first, I think because she was nervous. I realized this when she was so slow to walk to the closet to meet her teacher and put away her things. I also realized this by her posture: she was hunching her shoulders and pulling her arms in close as she would if she were cold and shivering. Her face was confident though; typical Catherine, who doesn't like to show her vulnerable emotions. We talked to the teacher, Mrs. Mosser, briefly, and she met all of the kids. Then, we walked her to her desk with her name on it. I showed her her name tag to put on and the color sheet she was to work on. I kissed her on the cheek, and when she was quiet and unresponsive, I asked her if she wanted me to leave. She said, "I don't care." So, I said, "OK, well, have a great day, sweetie, " and we left.
Taking Andrew to his 4th grade classroom was the easiest thing I did all day. I had no worries or reservations there. He was in a classroom I was used to, with a teacher I knew of, and had his buddies in class with him. Jess broke the ice, giving Ms. Sweet a hug (Jess had her for Math last year) and pointed out her brother, who had walked right in with his friends without acknowledging us and found his desk. Now, I am trying to remember if he said goodbye to me or not. No big deal, because Andrew already overfilled my heart when he kissed me goodbye without any reservation when I dropped him off at football practice. What a sweet boy! He has done that a few times lately in public and I am just wondering how long that will last. But, I know he does it for me; because he knows it makes me feel good, because there was a time when he didn't do it and now he does it on purpose sometimes. He is a thoughtful guy.
Next, Jess and I were early to her first day at middle school--a day with only the incoming sixth graders on campus. I said, "Ok, so do you want me to walk in with you when we get there, or will you be too embarassed?" She said she wants me there and she was a little nervous. So, I said, "Well, OK then, but we need to make a code word for when you want to tell me it is time to leave." She said, "Why? I'll just say, "Mom, leave now!", and I said, "Ahhh, because that is what I don't want you to do...to act like I am stupid and you don't want me there. I have feelings, you know." She laughs and says, "Ok, well, I really do want you there." (Remember that statement!)
We get to school and walk in together. Jess is carrying her very full backpack, another bag with PE clothes/shoes, her lunchbag, and I have a shopping bag with more stuff for her locker and classroom supply donations. Jess was embarassed about all the stuff she had, but later more kids came in with bags of stuff, too. We went to the table where they were handing out schedules and asked about where we put our stuff. The lady we talked to said to take it to her first period classroom where they would later be assigning lockers. Jess says 'hi' to a couple friends and we walk together to the office to turn in forms and check on the bus schedule. While in line, we talked to two moms of boys who were not sure what was going on and commented that their sons didn't want them there. I put my arm around Jess and joked that it must be different with girls. Jess looks at the moms and says, "Well, I don't want her here either...BUT..." Awkward! She later told me sorry and I told her I would expect that if she was around friends, but that it was unkind for her to sell me out in front of other moms--I wondered if they thought I was one of those moms. The ones who think they know their kid, but really are blind.
I was doing good, though, because I was expecting more distance and 'moms are uncool' attitude from her, but I got her to snap a photo in front of a random locker as if it was hers and pose with her friends, albeit with an ounce of faux complaining. I walked with Jess and a group of her friends (I was carrying a bag of her supplies, so I couldn't yet leave, remember?), who had by then arrived, to their first period classrooms. We set her stuff down on a table, met a couple teachers (one of whom sympathized as she had just taken her 6th grade son to his school in another town), and it was finally time to say goodbye. Jess came and gave me a sideways hug and a smile and said goodbye, which was really warm and fuzzy to me. I was proud of her and happy for her. Her school, teachers and friends were all great, and I just knew she was going to have the best day.
So, I left with that elation, practically soaring to the truck. I hop in, start it up, and begin thinking how happy I am and that I want to share this with someone. Who would want to share in the special joy of raising great kids and taking them off to their first day of school? Their father, of course! So, I give him a call and the bluetooth kicks in as I'm pulling onto Wilsonville Road. I hear a couple rings, then a click and "Hello, this is Jim." Suddenly, I couldn't speak. I had a huge lump in my throat and I squeaked out "Hello." "Hi, what's up?" he asks. Awkward pause. Then, he says, "Hey, Tam, I've got a conference call in my other ear. Can I call you back?" "Uh-huh." Phew! I am relieved that I will have time to compose myself before he calls me back. What is wrong with me? I did not see that coming. I start to think what I have to be sad about. Is it that I am now alone with no kids at home finally, after nearly 12 years? Or, was it Jess's not really needing me as a big middle-schooler? Or the fact that in all the rush and attention paid to Jess with middle school starting, I had kind of forgotten how important the first day of first grade is supposed to be? I hadn't taken Catie's photo in her classroom and documented her sweet nerves on that first day... Whoa! As I started to overthink it all, the hot tears streamed down my face. I pulled up to a stoplight in traffic and found my shades, slipping them on to cover my eyes.
I drove and cried, and when the tears slowed a few minutes later, I pulled into a store to do some grocery shopping and errands. Then, the return call comes in. I push the U-connect button, but suddenly I can't talk...again. Feeling foolish, I squeak and sob and explain it all to Jim, telling him everything is great with the kids, I don't know why I'm crying, and he seems to understand. Although not one given to any emotional displays himself, he is kind of at a loss for how to consol a crying person. He does what he knows how to do: makes a plan for us to have a fun family night and talk to the kids all about their day at dinner after football practice. I think to myself how I should have called my mom instead. As it turns out, I put off calling my mom all week because it felt like I would cry if I tried to talk about the kids' first day again. I called her the next week and was all better by then.
Today, as I write this, it is Monday of the third week. We've done PTSA and GNO planning meetings, started homework routines, middle school picture day, Back-to-School Night at the primary school, a sports physical appointment, volleyball and cross country sign-ups, started Bible study and running again, soccer and football practices M-Th, varsity football home game nights, picked tomatoes, beans, raspberries, prunes, pears, apples, froze corn, vaccinated and weaned cattle. It is a fun time, but busy.
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